You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
