I just saw a hot homeless man
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
