i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize