I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Everything about him screamed your future.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
