So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
