You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize