the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Randomize
