Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize