I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
