wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
