Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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