i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
