i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
