Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
