i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize