My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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