the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
