where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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