I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
