Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize