easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
