I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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