I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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