do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Less talking, more tequila
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
