I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
