No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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