If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
