just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
this is an emotional support booty call
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
