Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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