why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
