is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize