During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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