I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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