Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
