I showed him my bush... on skype.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
