Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw a hot homeless man
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
