I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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