I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
