Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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