And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
