After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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