Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize