Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My feet surprised me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
