Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
