sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't deserve a penis
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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