youre lurking in front of me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
