You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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