Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we have pet lesbian snakes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Randomize
