As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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