I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
