i love accidental penises.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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