Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
