do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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