So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
