so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
