I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
