return my video game
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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