I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
