i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
