he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
