your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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