While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
