hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
