i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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